Exit Interview with the Tumor

[Editor's note. The Tumor was kind enough to sit down for an exit interview with his host.]

Kevin: You are leaving me. It looks like we have known each other for almost four months now.

Tumor: You have known about me for four months. I've known you much longer than that. You are a little slow.

Kevin: Why are you leaving?

Tumor: It’s just not fun here any more. All these drugs you take make me uncomfortable. I’m bored with your frequent hospitalizations. I think it’s just time to move on. I’ll find a better place.

Kevin: I am glad that you are dissatisfied with me. What will you do at your new place?

Tumor: I think I will start a family.

Kevin: A family? Where will you find a wife?

Tumor: I have already found one on the Internet. She's from Lymphuania. She is a Royal Tumoress, and a graduate of the Chernobyl school of advanced tumorology. I would add that she is a lymphomaniac, but I don't think you would get the joke. We plan to raise lots of little tumors. I can’t wait to get started.

Kevin: That doesn’t sound very nice. You should be stopped.

Tumor: I’m hurt. You're like a villain in a James Bond movie, plotting my demise.

Kevin: Let's change the subject. Do you have any hobbies?

Tumor: I like to read, but it is really dark in here. I also like to take long walks on the beach at sunset, but being a tumor, I don’t get out much.

Kevin: That’s too bad, but I’m not at all sorry for you.

Tumor: You will miss me now that I’m gone. Just remember, I changed your life forever.

Kevin: Yes you have. Be gone!

Tumor is Gone

Good news from the doctor today. The tumor is gone. All that remains is a little more chemo and then a decision on a maintenance plan. I think this is good news. I will not miss my tumor!

Tumor Times Volume 20

Volume 20 of Tumor Times! 20 weeks since cancer diagnosis. I am still here, and the tumor is mostly gone.

Nothing to report this week except that I worked during the week and raked leaves on Saturday.

I also slept a lot. About 10 hours a night. I enjoy sleeping. It is what I do best.

God bless all of you. Drive safely, and stay tumor-free if at all possible.

Ode to My Muse

Tumors are violet,
White blood cells are blue.
I am a lymphoma poet,
Creating verse so new.

Chemotherapy is bliss,
Autumn leaves are brown.
One more verse like this,
And I will have to leave town.

Tumor Times Volume 19 -- The Empty Nest

After spending last weekend goofing off in the hospital, I was blessed this weekend with grass cutting, leaf raking, and helping my daughter move into her new apartment.

The leaves and the grass were easy – I worked until I had done enough. The moving was harder. My daughter bought one of those entertainment centers that you have to assemble. I think it only had 300 fasteners. That project taxed my tiny mind and my patience for about 3 hours. I got everything assembled except the drawers. I might even finish those one day.

There was another milestone this weekend. Usually I move mattresses and stuff by myself, even up and down stairs. This time, I punted the job entirely and asked two capable gentlemen to take my place. Thanks to Manny and Alex for putting that queen-size monstrosity upstairs at my daughter’s apartment. I like this idea of outsourcing heavy lifting to others.

Here am I, full of tumor and empty of nest.
Another edition of Tumor Times has been put to rest.
To each of you, my very best.

P.S. My apologies. I will outsource the poetry writing beginning next week. ;-(

Good Times

Got in a full day at work with no problems. Quite productive. It's nice to know that problems stay around until you solve them. ;-)

Tomorrow will be more of the same with less rain. It certainly is much nicer to sit at a desk than it is to lay in a hospital bed!

Medication and Variation

Just when I thought I had already taken every drug known to man, I find myself with no fewer that two new ones today. Ha. If I could spell some of these big words on the little pill bottles I would be a very smart man.

I have a section of the kitchen table set aside for my medication litter: all of the little bottles and boxes that makes for a healthy me. It's a good thing I have a huge kitchen table.

So far, no new infections since I left the hospital at 2:00 this afternoon. Pray that I can develop this into a long-term trend.

Tumor Times Volume 18 -- Back in the Hospital

So, I wind up back in the hospital on Saturday for fever, infection, and dehydration.

I see a pattern here:
- Kevin gets Chemo. This is one drug. It takes 4 to 6 hours to drip.
- Less than two weeks later, Kevin goes to the hospital where everything else known to man is dripped into him.

Whatever the effect of the chemo on the Tumor (the tumor appears devastated – I feel so sorry for him), the effect on Kevin is fever and infection that mandates a multiple-day hospital stay.

At the moment, I’m the only patient on the floor that I see walking around. Everyone else on the floor appears to be much worse off than I am. I will try to keep my whining to a minimum.

I had several visitors yesterday, and enjoyed them all. I am currently typing volume 18 of Tumor Times on my laptop, utilizing the hospital’s wireless network.

Thanks for reading. I’ll be posting more updates to the blog later today, including whether or not I really got out of the hospital today.

God bless you all!

6 year old girl with cancer hid love notes for her parents

Incredible.

You can see pictures of some of them at this link.

Tumor Times, Volume 17 -- Tumor on the Run

The results of My CT scan a week ago are in. This is the first update on the tumor since the initial scan in July confirmed that I have cancer.

And it is ….. Good News! The tumor is apparently responding well to treatment. No additional complications have been found. The report was as good as could have been expected.

Here is an excerpt from the report:

"There is good response to therapy of the right hemipelvic mass with only some residual stranding posterior to the paraspinous musculature on the right. The bony destructive process appears stable with no new lesions. No pathologic fractures are seen."

I hope you understood that. ;-)

As I mentioned last time, my chemotherapy has been changed from five drugs to one. And, I only have chemotherapy once a month. I feel great, and the swelling in my feet and lower legs is getting gradually better.

My hair is also starting to grow back. The only thing missing from my life now is bad news.

God bless all of you!