Silent Monk Chorus

More Bad Poetry

Twas the hour before Chemo
And all through the infusion center,
Not a tumor was stirring,
Not even a Follicular Lymphoma.

The IV bags were hung on a coat rack, up high
In hopes that my nurse would soon come by.
She implanted the needles, all snug my arm
The Benadryl was injected -- my it's getting warm!

The medicine was dripping, and the hours passed by.
The sound of my snoring made the other patients cry.

When out in the hall, there arose such a clatter,
I stayed in my chair -- can't get up and walk around with all these tubes in me!

When the last drop was finished, the nurse walked back in,
And made me an appointment to do this all again.

As I stumbled to my feet, I let out a sigh,
Merry Chemo to all, and to all a goodbye!

How to Game the new Health Care System

To get the most for my money under Obamacare, I don't think that I will buy insurance. Instead, I will pay the penalty for not buying the individual mandate. The penalty is a lot cheaper than the actual insurance.

Then, when I do need the insurance, the insurance companies have to sell it to me, even though I have a preexisting condition.

Obviously, if everyone does as I do, then Obamacare will be a complete disaster. But it is a good deal for me, so what do I care if the whole system falls apart?

I think I will change my name to Senator Ben Nelson.

Lazy Sunday

Today I napped. When I wasn't napping, I was asleep. The only exercise I got was stretching.

Ok, that's not exactly true. I did push my wife's car out of the garage so that I could jump start her battery. Then I took it to the auto parts store and bought her a new battery, so that I can sleep in peace and not have to push cars around.

Then the daughter came by, and I had to go out and add oil to her car.

I am exhausted. I hope tomorrow comes late, 'cause I need to get some rest.

I am still in the market for white blood cells. Got any?

Twenty Things to do for a Low White Blood Cell Count

1. Wash hands
2. Use hand sanitizer
3. Sleep
4. Wash hands
5. Don't shake hands with people
6. Don't offer to hug
7. Decline to be hugged
8. Ask the doctor "Where have the white blood cells gone?"
9. Watch the doctor shrug shoulders in reply
10. Wash hands
11. More hand sanitizer
12. Take a nap
13. Worry that my throat is getting scratchy, or that the last sneeze is the sign of a cold.
14. Organize necessary belongings for trip to the emergency room
15. Wash hands
16. Eschew mistletoe
17. Read between naps
18. Don't go outside where it's cold
19. Search eBay for discount white blood cells
20. Play the piano, but wash hands after touching those keys

William Shatner and Sarah Palin Exchange Dramatic Readings

Sistene Chapel

From: http://www.boingboing.net/2009/12/11/elevator-mural-casts.html

White Blood Cell Count has gone low again

Aaargh! My white blood cell count is low again. White blood cells fight infection, and when there are not enough of them....

The doctor does not seem worried. I think what I will do to combat this is the following:

1. Surf the web more.
2. Go to bed earlier.
3. Sleep later.
4. Eat more food. Especially potato chips.
5. Exercise less.

If I have left anything out, please let me know.

"Take Your Name Off Your Phone"

This is absolutely great:

Fifth Round of chemo is complete

I completed my fifth round of chemotherapy yesterday with no ill effects. I'm getting the idea that I will be on "maintenance" for a while. Maintenance means getting this one chemotherapy drug every month or so for a year.

I will try to get clarification on these plans. I don't see the need for chemo now that the tumor is gone. There is so much I don't understand.